Diversion

As taken from Counting Sheep

GRUB-OLOGY

• What is your salad dressing of choice? Bleu Cheese.

• What is your favorite fast food restaurant? I list Wendy’s as my health club.

• What is your favorite sit down restaurant? On the Border.

• On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? 20%.

• What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Chex Party Mix.

• Name three foods you detest above all others. Lobster, Granola bars, and orange juice.

• What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant? Lo mein.

• What are your pizza toppings of choice? Tomato, basil, garlic, and bacon (with extra cheese).

• What do you like to put on your toast? Butter. And not that pantywaist ‘lite’ crap, either.

• What is your favorite type of gum? I hate gum.

BI-OLOGY

• What do you consider to be your best physical attribute? Hair.

• Are you right handed or left handed? Right.

• Do you like your smile? No.

• Have you ever had anything removed from your body? An ex-girlfriend.

• Would you like to? To what?

• Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? Smell always provokes the biggest reaction.

• When was the last time you had a cavity? Long ago and far away.

• What is the heaviest item you lift regularly? Wine glass.

• Have you ever been knocked unconscious? No.

MISC-OLOGY

• If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? No.

• If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? Spanky.

• How do you express your artistic side? Sense of humor, which too often becomes unintentional drama.

• What color do you think you look best in? blue.

• How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison? Till the first ‘lights out’.

• Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? no.

• If we weren't’t bound by society’s conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at? secret.

• How often do you go to church? Spiritually never, but I do grace the building on occasion for other reasons.

• Have you ever saved someone’s life? Yes.

• Has someone ever saved yours? Yes.

DARE-OLOGY

For this last section, if you would do it for less or more money, indicate how much.

• Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000? Wish I had known some fool was willing to pay $100,000 to have seen it.

• Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? Yes.

• Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000? Cost of samesex sex: $10,000. Cost of memory you could never get rid of: Priceless.

• Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? No.

• Would you never blog again for $50,000? Stop. That’s just a ridiculous question. No one even reads me.

• Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? Sure. Just need to make sure that it has a foldout section “if you know what I mean”.

• Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? Yes.

• Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000? There is always punishment.

• Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000? No, but I would for a tax-free $1,000,000.

• Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? There is not enough money in the world.