It's ME time

I thought I could just show up here and all the loyal bloggers of earth would greet me spouting a hearty, "Welcome Back! We've missed your wit and wisdom (as well as the other shit you were peddling when last you were here)", and all would be right with the world. At least in my corner of it anyway.
Well, as I stand in my empty virtual house which is sans any festive homecoming decorations, it occurs that I'm going to have to give up the ghost and do some campaigning to get readers back. Doorprizes, contests, balloons? How will this be accomplished. In the old days you could just go into a bar and club the drunk readers over the head and when they woke up they would find themselves stuck reading your blog indefinitely. Oh, wait...no, that was British naval conscription. My mistake. My bad.
While I mull this over, leave a comment on ways I might be able to entice readers to join my stable. Oh, there, wasn't I clever! My first idea turned out to be getting other people to do it for me. Yes. I'm back!